Purpose
i hear questions asked on behalf of responses that i have no part in
i'm an answer
i act for, on behalf of
(a) self-sufficiency, to (be) self-conscious, or (see) selfishness
so when i'm seen through my, my your eyes - mind them
watch your tone then speak your mind then
i won't blind you with a spoon in your eyelids - or a spork type hybrid
otherwise i extend weapons to pens
unlike the metonym - "the pen is mighter than the sword"
i mean ballpoints or felt tips, in arm pits, digging out interiors...
i'm an answer
i act for, on behalf of
(a) self-sufficiency, to (be) self-conscious, or (see) selfishness
so when i'm seen through my, my your eyes - mind them
watch your tone then speak your mind then
i won't blind you with a spoon in your eyelids - or a spork type hybrid
otherwise i extend weapons to pens
unlike the metonym - "the pen is mighter than the sword"
i mean ballpoints or felt tips, in arm pits, digging out interiors...
posted by Unknown at 12:00 PM
6 Comments:
I like the use of "a, b, c" list replacement, haven't seen that before. Very effective, thought-provoking.
I too appreciate the meaningful categorization of the three "selfs". I also like the manner in which it can be read as introspection as well as character assessment of those around us.. Getting to the core of the/a person/situation seems to be the purpose.. and the writer has multiple modalities in "gettin' atcha"..
That 6th to 7th line is what got me though.. If read wrong, you'll be blind of the message..Tight son.. Tight..
Very impressive. There is a primal tone to both peices. Very defensive... in a positive way. When I read your work I envision the harsh world closing in as it does and your world fighting to keep it at a safe distance. Can't wait to read more.
it's unfortunate to see less comments for this piece than the last - i was hoping for an increase... also, i've been responding to people's comments - for now on i'll include my responses in the updated piece's section. thanks for all the comments, and to:
ej, i'm glad you like the a,b,c tie in - i was hoping it would be effective and noticed.
blessced, you get props on publishing the best comment this go around - sometimes i have ideas that i publish and know about without being able to explain to others, but you just did the job for me and it was beautiful!=)
dj, primal is right on the spot - i'm trying to go for the most instinctual hatred and out lashes i can go for... it's only fair considering that harsh world we're bearing with, right?
g, i wanted more from you man - how are you going to persuade me to spit at the Village Underground if i can't get more insight from my self-proclaimed promoter? LOL, hit me again!=)
Oh, and where's Mish?!=(
you know i always read way too much into your writing so, here goes: i was actually looking for some purpose in this piece. instead it seemed to be in preparation of something. "digging out interiors" to make space for what? and to me, the line "my, my your eyes" isnt clear. whose eyes? but i love this piece. is the usage of those phallic symbols near the end done on purpose...?
i used 'my, my your eyes' to sound endearing and rudely patronizing - you're looking and i don't mind, but watch everything else that follows
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